ND Traits Archives - Lucinda Curran, Sound Healer & Life Coach

Overcoming Procrastination

by Lucinda | 12, Nov 2025 | ADHD, Autism, ND Traits, Neurodivergent, Procrastination

Overcoming Procrastination

Neurodivergent-Friendly Ways to Reignite Momentum

Overcoming Procrastination When You’re Neurodivergent

Procrastination can feel like quicksand.

You want to move forward, but the more you try, the heavier everything feels.

For neurodivergent people — especially those who are autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD — procrastination often isn’t a matter of willpower. It’s about how our nervous systems respond to overwhelm, uncertainty, or fear of failure.

Sometimes, procrastination is our body saying, I can’t right now.

Our brains might crave clarity, regulation, or the right sensory environment before action feels possible.

The key isn’t to push harder — it’s to approach ourselves with gentleness and curiosity.

Why It Happens

For many of us, procrastination is linked to executive function differences.

Planning, prioritising, and initiating tasks require a lot of cognitive energy, especially when the task feels boring or too big.

Emotional regulation plays a role, too — fear of getting it wrong can freeze us in place.

Gentle Ways to Reignite Momentum

🕯️ Start with grounding. Before tackling the task, take a moment to breathe, stretch, or listen to soothing sounds to calm your nervous system.

🎨 Make it sensory. Add a sensory cue — light a candle, diffuse an oil, or put on a focus track from my Soothing Sounds playlist.

💫 Shrink the task. Choose one tiny, doable action — even five minutes can shift your momentum.

💛 Celebrate micro-progress. Every step forward counts, even if it’s smaller than you hoped.

Procrastination doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your body and brain are asking for a gentler way to begin.

Overcoming Procrastination – Watch the Video

In my video Overcoming Procrastination When You’re Neurodivergent, I unpack how procrastination feels from the inside and share sensory-aligned strategies to reconnect with flow.

You May Be Interested…

If procrastination has been showing up for you lately, you might also enjoy my earlier posts:

Each one explores a different facet of the neurodivergent experience — from the invisible challenges our minds face to the sensory tools that help us reconnect and find flow.

You’ll find the relevant videos, and more, on my YouTube channel, Different… and Loving It!

Working Memory and Neurodivergence

by Lucinda | 29, Oct 2025 | ADHD, Autism, Empowerment, ND Traits, Neurodivergent, Working Memory

Working Memory and Neurodivergence

Why It Feels Hard and Practical Ways to Cope

Have you ever opened your laptop only to stare blankly at the screen, forgetting why you turned it on?

Or started speaking and felt the idea vanish, like a soap bubble popping mid-air?

That’s working memory at play — and for many neurodivergent adults, it’s a daily challenge.

What Is Working Memory?

Working memory is the brain’s short-term holding space.

It’s what keeps information “on hand” just long enough to use it — like remembering a recipe step while you stir the pot.

But for many autistic and ADHD people, that sticky note is unreliable.

It’s like trying to write on misted glass — words fade before you finish.

The Sensory Experience Inside

Working memory slips aren’t just cognitive — they’re sensory and emotional too.

A thought disappears with a pop, leaving silence where words should be.
Static buzzes through the mind, drowning out clarity.
A forgotten step sparks a rising flutter of panic in the chest.
Sometimes it’s like chasing a slippery fish through water — you almost catch it, then it’s gone again.

These experiences can feel embarrassing, overwhelming, and isolating.

Strategies That Actually Help

The good news? We can support ourselves with tools and habits that reduce the load on working memory.

Externalise your brain. Use apps, calendars, sticky notes — anything to capture information outside your head.
Lean on visual cues. Leave your cup by the kettle, your bag by the door, your notebook on the desk. Objects become memory triggers.
Break things down. Focus on one step at a time. A checklist can be grounding and calming.
Time in chunks. Short bursts of focused time (like 15–20 minutes) with breaks in between can keep overwhelm at bay.
Build supportive routines. Automatic habits reduce the need for remembering. Always putting your keys in the same bowl = less stress.

Reframing the Narrative

Working memory difficulties aren’t laziness or lack of care.

They’re part of how some brains work.

When we stop blaming ourselves and start creating supports, life flows more smoothly.

View the Video

In this video, I share personal experience and insights — and share tips that help me stay on top of things!

Final Reflection

If you’ve ever struggled with working memory, know this: you are not broken.

You’re simply wired differently, and that difference comes with its own rhythms and wisdom.

🌿 If you’d like to explore ways to make life gentler — through Radiance Coaching, Sound Healing, or building supportive strategies — connect with me here.

Deficit-Based Language in the DSM

by Lucinda | 15, Oct 2025 | ADHD, Autism, ND Traits, Neurodivergent

Deficit-Based Language in the DSM: A Neurodivergent Perspective

Have you ever read your own diagnostic report and felt it was more of a critique than a reflection of who you are?

Many adults describe the experience as confronting — even painful.

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) is considered the “gold standard” in diagnosis for autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergences.

Yet the way it describes us is overwhelmingly deficit-based.

What the DSM Gets Wrong

Phrases like:

Deficits in executive functioning.
Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.
Persistent deficits in social communication.

Each one suggests a shortcoming, a failure, a lack. But this is not how neurodivergent people actually live and experience life.

When Diagnosis Hurts

For many of us, diagnosis comes with mixed emotions.

There’s relief in understanding why we feel different.

But alongside it comes the heavy message: “Here’s everything you’re not good at.”

It shapes how others see us.

And, more dangerously, it can start to shape how we see ourselves.

Why Understanding Matters

Misreading shutdown as daydreaming (or vice versa) can lead to frustration, shame, or unnecessary pressure. Many neurodivergent adults grew up hearing:

Stop being lazy.
Pay attention.
You’re off in your own world again.

This creates a cycle of self-doubt and hypervigilance.

By learning to recognise and respond with empathy, we offer something better — validation and safety, which fosters recovery and re-engagement.

What the DSM Misses Entirely

No diagnostic manual captures the full reality of neurodivergence, the –

Flow state of immersing in a deep interest
Clarity and honesty that bypasses superficial small talk
Empathy, loyalty, and creativity that enrich relationships and work
Sensory joy of noticing subtle patterns others overlook

None of this is a deficit. This is humanity.

Why Reframing Matters

The harm of deficit-based language is that it boxes us into limitation.

Reframing allows us to see the truth: we are not broken.

Yes, challenges are real.

But alongside them exist strengths, gifts, and perspectives that the DSM was never designed to capture.

Watch the Video

Watch this for more information and inspiration.

Final Thoughts

Recognising whether it’s daydreaming or shutdown isn’t just about managing behaviour.

It’s about honouring experience — your child’s and your own.

When we meet these moments with empathy, we shift from frustration to understanding, from correction to connection.

Every time we pause and see what’s really happening beneath the surface, we’re breaking old patterns and building safer spaces for neurodivergent minds to thrive.

Closing Reflection

A diagnosis can provide clarity and community — but it should never be the whole story.

As neurodivergent adults, part of our healing is learning to reclaim the narrative. To see ourselves not through the lens of deficits, but through the richness of lived experience.

🌿 If you’re ready to explore ways of reconnecting with your inner self — through coaching, sound healing, or simply conversation — I’d love to walk alongside you.

Daydreaming or in Shutdown? How to Support Neurodivergent Kids (and Yourself)

by Lucinda | 1, Oct 2025 | ADHD, Autism, Empowerment, ND Traits, Neurodivergent, Shutdowns

The Overlooked Experience: Daydreaming or in Shutdown

Have you ever caught yourself staring into space — not sure if you’re simply lost in thought or if something inside you has switched off?

Many neurodivergent adults recognise this sensation from childhood, when it was often misread as laziness, inattention, or being ‘away with the fairies’.

For neurodivergent children (and adults), daydreaming and in shutdown look similar on the outside but feel very different on the inside.

Understanding this difference is more than supportive parenting — it’s a step towards advocacy, self-compassion, and breaking old patterns of misinterpretation.

What Daydreaming Feels Like

Daydreaming is light, fluid, and imaginative.

Thoughts drift like clouds — soft, changeable, weaving colours and stories. A child might be replaying a favourite scene from a book, inventing an elaborate world, or working through a puzzle in their mind.

The key markers:

Voluntary and often creative
Relaxed body posture
Ability to re-engage with a gentle prompt

For adults, this might feel like a mental ‘wander’ where ideas connect in surprising ways.

💡 It’s restorative rather than draining.

What Shutdown Feels Like

Shutdown, by contrast, is a nervous system response to overwhelm.

The outside world may see stillness, silence, and disengagement.

Inside, it can feel like moving through thick molasses, like thoughts are there but unreachable.

Shutdown is often triggered by:

Sensory overload (noise, light, texture)
Emotional overwhelm or social pressure
Chronic masking and exhaustion

In children and adults, it can bring anxiety, heaviness, or even numbness.

💡 It’s a protective mechanism, not a choice.

Why Understanding Matters

Misreading shutdown as daydreaming (or vice versa) can lead to frustration, shame, or unnecessary pressure. Many neurodivergent adults grew up hearing:

Stop being lazy.
Pay attention.
You’re off in your own world again.

This creates a cycle of self-doubt and hypervigilance.

By learning to recognise and respond with empathy, we offer something better — validation and safety, which fosters recovery and re-engagement.

Supporting Daydreaming and Shutdown

Daydreaming: Allow space for creativity and curiosity. A soft prompt — “What are you imagining?” — can invite gentle connection without pulling someone out too quickly.
Shutdown: Reduce sensory input, offer calming presence, and avoid pressure. Co-regulation (soft voice, slow breathing) helps restore nervous system balance.

Reclaiming Connection

For adults, recognising these states in themselves can be deeply liberating. It’s not inattention or a weakness. It’s a part of how your brain and body work to cope, recover, or create.

For children, your understanding can be life-changing. They learn self-trust, rather than internalising shame.

And for families, it builds deeper connections — rooted in seeing, truly seeing, each other.

Watch the Video

For more insights, watch the full discussion here:

Final Thoughts

Recognising whether it’s daydreaming or shutdown isn’t just about managing behaviour.

It’s about honouring experience — your child’s and your own.

When we meet these moments with empathy, we shift from frustration to understanding, from correction to connection.

Every time we pause and see what’s really happening beneath the surface, we’re breaking old patterns and building safer spaces for neurodivergent minds to thrive.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this resonates, I’d love to support you further.

Book a NeuroSpicy Meet & Greet
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Get in touch

Eye Contact Can Feel Overwhelming

by Lucinda | 21, Aug 2025 | ADHD, Autism, Communication, ND Traits

Eye Contact Can Be Overwhelming

Have you ever tried to hold someone’s gaze and felt your whole body tighten? As if their eyes were shining a spotlight straight into your soul?

If so, you’re not alone.

Why eye contact can feel overwhelming is something many neurodivergent people struggle to explain — yet it shapes countless social moments.

Today, I want to explore what it’s really like, and why it’s absolutely okay to look away.

The Sensory Intensity of Eye Contact

For many neurodivergent people, eye contact isn’t just “looking at someone.”

It’s a flood of sensory information — facial expressions, micro-signals, emotional cues — all processed at once, sometimes painfully so.

Imagine trying to have a conversation while someone shines a torch directly into your eyes. Your heart might race, your skin prickle, and your thoughts scatter. That’s what eye contact can feel like for some of us: too bright, too raw, too much.

It’s Not Rudeness — It’s Regulation

In many cultures, eye contact is seen as respect. But for neurodivergent people, avoiding it often isn’t about disrespect — it’s about staying regulated enough to listen and engage.

Looking away helps us process words without the overload. It’s a way of caring for ourselves so we can stay present in the moment.

Stories From Within

I’ve spoken to so many neurokin who’ve described forcing themselves to maintain eye contact only to feel their brain start skipping, like a record with a scratch.

One told me it felt like being dissected — exposed in a way that shut down their ability to even hear the words.

Looking away isn’t avoiding connection. It’s making connection possible.

Supporting Yourself and Others

If you find eye contact hard:

Try looking at someone’s nose or forehead instead.
Use nods or small gestures to show you’re listening.
Let people know that looking away actually helps you stay tuned in.

And if you’re supporting someone else? Release the expectation that “good eye contact” equals good communication. Connection is so much bigger than that.