How to Stop Feeling Broken

by Lucinda | 17, Apr 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Neurodivergent, Uniqueness

How to Stop Feeling Broken – You’re Just Different

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that you’re not quite right? That somehow, you missed a memo on how to “human” correctly?

Maybe you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, too intense, too quiet, too loud, too much—or not enough.

That feeling of not fitting in can be overwhelming. It can convince you that you’re somehow broken.

But here’s the truth: You are not broken. You’re just different.

And different is NOT a flaw.

What Feeling Broken Really Means

That “feeling broken” sensation often comes from years of internalising messages that something about you needs fixing.

For many neurodiverse people, that message starts early: at school, in social groups, in work environments built for a different kind of brain.

Feeling broken isn’t really about who you are. It’s about how you’ve been made to feel.

When the world isn’t designed with your way of thinking, feeling, or sensing in mind, it can wear you down.

But your differences – your sensitivities, your focus, your perspective – aren’t errors. They’re signals of a mind that works uniquely.

Reframing “Broken” as “Brilliant”

Let’s flip the narrative.

What if those things that make you feel broken are actually signs of brilliance?

🌱 Struggle in noisy environments? That might mean you have finely tuned sensory awareness.
💡 Need time alone to recharge? You may process deeply and feel more than others.
✨ Communicate differently? That’s not a flaw—it’s another form of fluency.

The world needs all kinds of thinkers, feelers, and beings. Your uniqueness might just be the perspective someone else is longing to hear.

How to Start Healing That Feeling

If you’re stuck in the cycle of feeling broken, here are a few gentle steps to help shift that story:

Notice the narrative
Pay attention to the inner voice that says, “I’m too much” or “I don’t belong.”
Whose voice is that? Often, it’s not yours.
Seek spaces that celebrate difference
When you find places—online or in real life—where people get you, it’s like a deep exhale. Community matters.
Speak kindly to yourself
Start small: “I am doing my best.” “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Let those words begin to soften the edges.
Recognise your strengths
Make a list of what you do well—not just achievements, but traits: creativity, compassion, pattern recognition, perseverance.
Start to celebrate you.
Get support
Whether it’s a coach, therapist, mentor or trusted friend –
Being seen and heard by someone who understands can be powerful.

You Are Not Broken—You Are Becoming

If no one has told you lately: there is nothing wrong with you.

Yes, the world can be confusing, harsh, and overwhelming. But you? You are still whole.

You’re allowed to feel tired. You’re allowed to feel lost. And you’re allowed to rest.

But please don’t mistake being different for being broken.

Because in your difference lies your depth, your strength, and your quiet brilliance.

Share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your reactions, thoughts and feelings.

Hyperfocus: The Joy (and Challenge) of Deep Dives

by Lucinda | 17, Mar 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Empowerment, Hyperfocus, Neurodivergent

Hyperfocus: The Joy (and Challenge) of Deep Dives

I was catching up with a friend over coffee when she sighed, shaking her head with a wry smile.

“I just don’t get it. I sat down to do a quick bit of research for my project, and before I knew it, six hours had passed! I forgot to eat, I ignored my phone—nothing else existed. It’s like I disappeared into another world. Is that normal?”

A familiar spark of recognition lit up in me. “That sounds perfectly normal to me!! It’s called ‘hyperfocus’!” I said.

If you’ve ever lost yourself in an absorbing task—emerging hours later, dazed and completely unaware of the time—you might have experienced hyperfocus, too.

It’s the intense, immersive state where distractions fade away, and your entire being locks onto one fascinating thing.

Whether it’s reading, gaming, creating, or problem-solving, hyperfocus can feel like a superpower—until it’s not.

What is Hyperfocus?

It is a state of deep concentration where a person becomes completely absorbed in an activity, often to the exclusion of everything else.

It’s most commonly associated with neurodiverse individuals, particularly those with ADHD and autism, but anyone can experience it.

Unlike general concentration, which can be consciously controlled, hyperfocus often feels involuntary.

It’s not just paying attention—it’s disappearing into something, sometimes to the point of neglecting basic needs like eating, sleeping, or responding to others.

The Double-Edged Sword

Hyperfocus can be a gift.

It allows for deep learning, creativity, and productivity.

Many breakthroughs in science, art, and technology have likely come from someone deeply immersed in their work.

But it also has its downsides.

If the focus locks onto the ‘wrong’ thing (a video game instead of an important deadline, or a creative project instead of much-needed sleep), it can cause frustration, stress, or even burnout.

It can also make it difficult to switch tasks, leading to missed appointments, unfinished chores, and an imbalance in daily life.

Monotropism: The Science Behind Hyperfocus

A key concept linked to hyperfocus is monotropism – the idea that some brains naturally focus on fewer things at a deeper level, rather than spreading attention broadly.

This explains why shifting attention can be difficult and why deep dives into interests are so rewarding.

For those with a monotropic attention style, engaging in a passion feels energising and fulfilling, but being forced to multitask or switch focus can be exhausting.

Understanding this can help people manage their focus more effectively, rather than fighting against it.

Managing Hyperfocus: Harnessing the Magic

If this is something you experience, here are a few ways to work with it rather than against it:

1️⃣ Set External Reminders – Alarms, timers, and accountability check-ins can help break up long focus sessions so you remember to eat, drink, and rest.

2️⃣ Plan ‘Deep Work’ Time – If you know you hyperfocus best in the evenings, schedule important tasks for then, instead of forcing yourself into less optimal times.

3️⃣ Create Soft Exit Strategies – Transitioning out of hyperfocus can be difficult. Using a wind-down routine, like journaling your progress or setting a stopping point in advance, can make it easier.

4️⃣ Use It to Your Advantage – When channelled well, hyperfocus can be an incredible asset for work, hobbies, and personal growth. Understanding your own patterns helps you make the most of it.

5️⃣ Build Recovery Time – Hyperfocus can be exhilarating but also exhausting. Plan for rest, movement, and downtime after deep dives to prevent burnout and keep your focus sustainable.