Masking, Meltdowns, and Managing Your Energy

Do you ever feel like you’re holding yourself together just long enough to get through a situation—only to completely crash afterwards? That’s masking. And if you’ve experienced the emotional and physical toll it takes, you’re not alone.

Masking is when we suppress our natural responses, emotions, or behaviours to fit in, meet expectations, or avoid standing out. While it can help us navigate certain social situations, it’s also exhausting and can lead to meltdowns, shutdowns, and long-term burnout.

If you’re constantly running on empty, it’s time to explore how to manage your energy, reduce the impact of masking, and honour your natural rhythms.

What Is Masking?

Masking is often an unconscious response to social pressure. You might suppress stimming, force eye contact, or modify your behaviour to blend in. It’s particularly common among neurodiverse individuals, introverts, and highly sensitive people.

A Personal Example of Masking

For me, one of the biggest challenges has been visiting my parents in aged care. The overwhelming mix of noise, strong smells, social interactions, and confronting realities of dementia means I have to hold it all together while I’m there. I suppress my discomfort, push through, and stay composed. But once I get home, exhaustion sets in. My energy crashes, and I need time to recover.

Sound familiar? If so, let’s look at the cost of masking and how to manage it.

The Cost of Masking

Masking isn’t just tiring—it has real emotional and physical consequences.

1. Emotional Exhaustion

Suppressing your natural reactions can lead to anxiety, stress, and emotional burnout. Over time, it can make you feel disconnected from yourself.

2. Physical Fatigue

Headaches, muscle tension, and extreme exhaustion can result from constantly monitoring and adjusting your behaviour.

3. Meltdowns vs. Shutdowns

• Meltdowns: A buildup of sensory, emotional, or mental overload that results in an emotional outburst.
• Shutdowns: A response to overwhelm where you withdraw, go silent, and struggle to function.

The more we mask, the more likely we are to experience these crashes—but there are ways to reduce the impact.

How to Manage Your Energy & Reduce the Impact of Masking

💡 You don’t have to stop masking entirely—but you can make it less draining.

1. Recognise Your Triggers

Start noticing when and where you mask the most. Which situations leave you feeling completely drained? Awareness is the first step to managing your energy better.

2. Schedule Recovery Time

If you know you’ll be masking, plan for decompression time afterwards. Give yourself permission to rest, engage in quiet activities, or spend time alone.

3. Find Safe Spaces to Be Unmasked

It’s important to have environments where you can be fully yourself. Who are the people you don’t need to pretend around? Where do you feel truly comfortable?

4. Set Boundaries & Advocate for Yourself

Saying no to overwhelming situations is an act of self-care. If possible, adjust your environment or routine to reduce the need for masking. Small changes—like wearing noise-cancelling headphones or taking regular breaks—can make a big difference.

5. Use Energy Management Strategies

• The Bucket Theory: You have a limited amount of energy (‘buckets’) per day—use them wisely.
• The 3 Rs: Rest, Recharge, and Reconnect with what makes you feel like you.

Embracing a Life with Less Masking

Masking may be part of your life, but it doesn’t have to control you. By understanding your energy limits, setting boundaries, and prioritising rest, you can navigate the world in a way that feels sustainable and true to who you are.

If this resonates with you and you’re ready to build a life where you don’t have to mask as much, I invite you to explore Radiance Coaching. Together, we’ll create a way forward that honours your unique energy and needs. Click here to learn more!

Also, I’d love to hear from you—when do you find yourself masking the most, and what helps you recharge? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!

Summing Up

Masking is something many of us do—but we don’t have to let it rule our lives.

By understanding your energy limits, setting boundaries, and prioritising rest, you can reduce exhaustion and honour your true self.

If this resonates with you, let’s talk about ways you can build a life where you don’t have to mask so much.

I offer Radiance Coaching to help unique people like you navigate life with more ease and joy. Want to explore what that could look like for you? Click here to learn more!

Also, let me know in the comments: When do you find yourself masking the most, and what helps you recharge?

Understanding Autistic Shutdowns: What Happens When Overwhelm Takes Over?

What is an Autistic Shutdown?

An autistic shutdown is a response to extreme overwhelm, where the nervous system essentially “powers down” to protect itself.

Unlike meltdowns, which are outward expressions of distress, shutdowns involve withdrawal, silence, and exhaustion.

The brain and body go into a low-energy state, making it difficult to think, speak, or respond to stimuli.

Understanding autistic shutdowns is essential for recognising when they happen and responding with self-compassion.

Common Triggers for Shutdowns

Autistic shutdowns are often triggered by prolonged stress, overstimulation, or emotional overload. Some common causes include:

• Sensory Overload: Loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or crowded spaces can overwhelm the senses.
• Social Exhaustion: Too many interactions, deep emotional conversations, or feeling misunderstood.
• Emotional Stress: Conflict, unexpected changes, or being confronted with intense emotions from others.
• Cognitive Overload: Too many decisions, rapid-fire information, or complex problem-solving.
• Physical Fatigue: Lack of sleep, too many back-to-back activities, or not enough downtime.

Signs of an Autistic Shutdown

Because shutdowns are often internal experiences, they can be difficult to spot. Here are some signs:

• Becoming non-verbal or struggling to form words.
• Feeling disconnected, distant, or numb.
• Needing to withdraw from people or tasks.
• Struggling to process information or make decisions.
• Feeling physically drained or dizzy.

For those who experience shutdowns, recognising these signs early can help prevent deeper exhaustion.

How to Recover from a Shutdown

Once a shutdown begins, the best approach is to allow yourself time and space to recover. Here are some ways to help the process:

• Create a calm environment – Reduce sensory input by dimming lights, wearing noise-cancelling headphones, or retreating to a quiet space.
• Engage in soothing activities – Stimming, listening to music, wrapping up in a weighted blanket, or sitting in nature can help.
• Prioritise rest – Allow yourself to step away from responsibilities and recharge.
• Communicate your needs – If possible, let others know you need space and quiet.
• Hydrate and nourish your body – Simple self-care actions like drinking water and eating a small snack can support recovery.

How Others Can Support Someone in Shutdown

If you know someone experiencing a shutdown, here are a few ways to support them:

• Respect their need for space and quiet.
• Avoid asking too many questions or expecting immediate responses.
• Offer practical help, like bringing them water or a comfort item.
• Be patient and understanding—it’s not personal.
• Check in later, once they’ve had time to recover.

Final Thoughts

Shutdowns are a natural response to overwhelm, not a sign of weakness or failure. Recognising them, allowing recovery time, and building strategies to manage energy levels can make a world of difference.

Have you ever experienced an autistic shutdown? What helps you recover? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!