Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025

by Lucinda | 26, Jun 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Neurodivergent, PDA, RSD

Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025

I recently had the privilege of attending the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 — a space dedicated to supporting autistic girls and gender-diverse young people. It was an inspiring, heart-opening experience filled with wisdom that I’m eager to share with you. Here are some of the most powerful insights that stayed with me:

Reflections and Insights

Neurokin: The Power of Connection Among Neurodivergent People

One beautiful concept I encountered is neurokin — yes, that word really exists!

It describes the unique connection and understanding that naturally forms between neurodivergent individuals. It’s that unspoken bond, a deep sense of being seen and understood without explanation.

Neurokin reminds us that community isn’t just nice to have — it’s vital for our wellbeing and growth.

When Escalation Happens, Step Away

A key practical reminder was about emotional escalation.

Sometimes, especially within families or close communities where neurodivergence is common, tensions can rise quickly, with everyone amplifying each other’s stress.

The advice was simple but powerful: if you find yourself escalating with someone else, it’s a clear sign to step away — physically or emotionally — to reset before reconnecting.

This pause can prevent misunderstandings and create space for compassion.

Conflicting Needs Within Neurodivergent Families

Many neurodivergent traits are shared within families, which means conflicting needs are natural and expected.

Sometimes, two or more people want different things at the same time — sensory comfort, quiet, movement, or social interaction.

The takeaway? Express your needs clearly, listen to others, and sometimes prioritise whose needs take precedence in the moment.

It’s not always easy, but communication and mutual respect help everyone feel seen and supported.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): A Lifeline for Understanding

I had never heard of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) before this conference.

Learning about RSD was deeply helpful in understanding why so many neurodivergent people can find themselves in dysfunctional or painful relationships.

RSD involves intense emotional pain triggered by perceived (or real) rejection or criticism — often disproportionate to the event itself.

Knowing about RSD can be a lifeline: it’s not “just being too sensitive,” but a neurological response that deserves compassion and tailored strategies.

PDA Is So Much More Than “Not Wanting to Be Told What to Do”

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) came up frequently.

The common misconception is that PDA means simply “not wanting to be told what to do.”

But in reality, PDA is a complex profile that affects everyday life deeply. It involves anxiety-driven avoidance of demands, sometimes leading to creative resistance, social strategies, or emotional shutdowns.

Understanding PDA means seeing beyond behaviour to the underlying emotions and needs — which opens pathways for more supportive responses.

The Power of Lived Experience: Nothing About Us Without Us

A thread throughout the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 was the importance of lived experience.

When it comes to understanding and supporting neurodivergent people, nothing replaces the insight of those who have walked the path themselves.

Whether it’s through research, education, therapy, or everyday advocacy, the voices of neurodivergent people must be central. Lived experience brings nuance, authenticity, and clarity that no second-hand interpretation can match.

When we centre neurodivergent voices, we move closer to support that actually fits — support that respects autonomy, celebrates difference, and meets real needs with compassion.

As they often said: “Nothing about us without us.”

Energy Meter: A Brilliant Tool for Managing Your Day

One of the most practical tools shared was the Energy Meter from Autism Level Up. This tool invites you to gauge your current energy levels and consider whether your energy matches the task at hand. For example, if you’re “amped up and fidgety,” is that the right energy state for working on a focused project?

If it’s not a match, do you need to level up or level down?

What’s especially important is that you — the individual — decide where you are at and choose the energy level required for your task. Everyone expresses energy levels differently.

As they say, “If you’ve met one Autistic person, you’ve met one Autistic person.” There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Autism Level Up offers resources to help you learn how to adjust your energy intentionally to meet your needs.

Closing Words

Attending the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 reminded me how important it is to stay curious and compassionate — especially with ourselves and those we love who navigate the world differently. It also reminded me how important community is – where there is an unspoken understanding and deep respect for one another. I am already looking forward to next year’s conference.

The insights I gained are gifts I’ll carry forward, and I hope sharing them can support you too.

If you’d like to hear more about any of these topics or want resources, please reach out or comment below. Let’s keep building that beautiful neurokin community together (you can come and join Different… and Loving It! if you like!).

With warmth and deep respect,
Lucinda

Ichi-go Ichi-e

by Lucinda | 11, Jun 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Inspiration, Neurodivergent

Ichi-go Ichi-e: Being Present in Your Neurodiverse Way

Life isn’t always easy to stay present for.

Especially if you’re neurodiverse.

Sometimes everything is too much — the noise, the smells, the people, the expectations.
Sometimes it’s the opposite — we get so focused on one task, one idea, one world inside us, that we lose all track of time.

I was reading Salvatore Battaglia’s latest book, The Kotodama of Scent, when I came across a phrase that caused me to pause: Ichi-go ichi-e.

It’s a Japanese concept that literally translates to “one time, one meeting.”

A reminder that this moment, this experience — will never happen again in exactly the same way.

The phrase comes from the world of Japanese tea ceremonies, but it carries a message that ripples far beyond that:

Every moment is fleeting, and because of that, it’s precious.

Why Ichi-go Ichi-e Resonates for Neurodiverse People

I’ve spoken with so many beautiful, thoughtful, sensitive humans — many of whom are neurodiverse — who feel like they can’t stay present.

There’s too much stimulation. Or they disappear into hyperfocus. Or their brains are just… always moving.

And I want to say: You’re not doing it wrong.
Ichi-go ichi-e isn’t about forcing stillness. It’s about noticing what’s already here.

Even if your mind is racing, your environment loud, or your day disjointed — you can still pause, even for a second, to say:
“This moment is happening now. And I’m here.”

A Moment I’ll Never Forget

When I first read the phrase, I looked up.

The light hit the page in a soft, warm way. I could smell the last traces of essential oils in the room.

And I realised: this will never happen again quite like this.

That doesn’t make it tragic — it makes it beautiful.

And it made me want to bring this idea to you.

Not as a pressure to “be present,” but as an invitation.

An offering.

A quiet reminder that now matters.

Want a Gentle Way to Reconnect?

If you’re looking for gentle tools to help you come back to the moment, I’ve created a new playlist on YouTube called Soothing Sounds.

They’re just 10-minute tracks — soft, quiet, calming — designed for when you need to pause, recover, or just breathe.

You can also watch the video version of this blog here:

Over to You…

Have you had a moment where you suddenly realised how precious it was?

Or does the idea of ichi-go ichi-e help shift something in how you approach your day?

Leave a comment below — I’d love to hear what this stirs in you.
And if you’d like more support and encouragement like this, you can subscribe to Different… and Loving It! or join our kind, off-social community.

Until next time,
Lucinda 💙

You’re Not Too Sensitive

by Lucinda | 4, Jun 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Inspiration, Neurodivergent, Uniqueness

You’re Not Too Sensitive — You’re Wired for Deep Awareness

“You’re just too sensitive.”

Heard that before?

For many neurodiverse people—and anyone who feels deeply—this phrase lands like a judgment. It’s often said with frustration, dismissal, or even pity.

But here’s the truth:

You’re not too sensitive.
You’re precisely sensitive enough.

Your nervous system isn’t faulty. It’s finely tuned.

You’re wired to notice details, energy shifts, subtle sounds, tiny injustices, unexpected beauty.

Where others might rush by, you pause. You feel. You see. And that is a profound gift.

🌿 Sensitivity ≠ Weakness

Let’s clear this up: being sensitive doesn’t mean being fragile. It means being deeply aware.

You might:

Sense tension in a room before anyone says a word
Feel overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, or background noise
Cry during music, movies, or at the sight of something beautiful
Need time alone to reset after socialising
Notice patterns, inconsistencies, or small acts of kindness that others miss

None of this means you’re broken. It means you’re in tune. In a world that rewards speed and surface-level interaction, your deep awareness is a quiet kind of power.

🌀 The Link Between Sensitivity and Neurodiversity

Many neurodiverse people—especially those with autism, ADHD, or traits linked to sensory processing—experience heightened sensitivity.

This can show up physically (like noticing every flicker of fluorescent lighting) or emotionally (like feeling the mood of a friend before they even speak).

We’ve been taught to hide this. To mask. To “toughen up.”

But what if the world needs more feeling, not less?

🔍 What Your Sensitivity Tells You

Think of it like this: your sensitivity is feedback. It’s information. It tells you when something is off, when a space feels safe, when someone needs support. It also tells you what brings you joy, peace, comfort, and connection.

Instead of ignoring it, you can learn to listen. To trust it.

And to build a life that honours it.

💖 You Deserve Environments That Feel Kind

You don’t need to be less sensitive.

You need environments that are more aligned with how you function best.

That might mean:

Choosing quieter cafés
Wearing soft clothes in calming colours
Surrounding yourself with people who respect your pacing
Saying no to things that leave you overstimulated or emotionally drained

These choices aren’t indulgent—they’re necessary. For your nervous system, your creativity, your wellbeing.

🌸 You’re Allowed to Be Fully You

You were never meant to fit into a world that silences sensitivity.

You were meant to help shape a world that honours it.

So the next time someone says you’re too sensitive, you might pause… and smile.

Because now you know:

You’re not too sensitive.
You’re deeply aware.
And that’s your strength.

🎤 Share Your Thoughts

What will you say next time someone says you’re “too sensitive”? Share in the comments below – let’s inspire each other!

And if you feel inspired, come and start chatting in our Different… And Loving It! community.

How to Stop Feeling Broken

by Lucinda | 17, Apr 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Neurodivergent, Uniqueness

How to Stop Feeling Broken – You’re Just Different

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that you’re not quite right? That somehow, you missed a memo on how to “human” correctly?

Maybe you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, too intense, too quiet, too loud, too much—or not enough.

That feeling of not fitting in can be overwhelming. It can convince you that you’re somehow broken.

But here’s the truth: You are not broken. You’re just different.

And different is NOT a flaw.

What Feeling Broken Really Means

That “feeling broken” sensation often comes from years of internalising messages that something about you needs fixing.

For many neurodiverse people, that message starts early: at school, in social groups, in work environments built for a different kind of brain.

Feeling broken isn’t really about who you are. It’s about how you’ve been made to feel.

When the world isn’t designed with your way of thinking, feeling, or sensing in mind, it can wear you down.

But your differences – your sensitivities, your focus, your perspective – aren’t errors. They’re signals of a mind that works uniquely.

Reframing “Broken” as “Brilliant”

Let’s flip the narrative.

What if those things that make you feel broken are actually signs of brilliance?

🌱 Struggle in noisy environments? That might mean you have finely tuned sensory awareness.
💡 Need time alone to recharge? You may process deeply and feel more than others.
✨ Communicate differently? That’s not a flaw—it’s another form of fluency.

The world needs all kinds of thinkers, feelers, and beings. Your uniqueness might just be the perspective someone else is longing to hear.

How to Start Healing That Feeling

If you’re stuck in the cycle of feeling broken, here are a few gentle steps to help shift that story:

Notice the narrative
Pay attention to the inner voice that says, “I’m too much” or “I don’t belong.”
Whose voice is that? Often, it’s not yours.
Seek spaces that celebrate difference
When you find places—online or in real life—where people get you, it’s like a deep exhale. Community matters.
Speak kindly to yourself
Start small: “I am doing my best.” “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Let those words begin to soften the edges.
Recognise your strengths
Make a list of what you do well—not just achievements, but traits: creativity, compassion, pattern recognition, perseverance.
Start to celebrate you.
Get support
Whether it’s a coach, therapist, mentor or trusted friend –
Being seen and heard by someone who understands can be powerful.

You Are Not Broken—You Are Becoming

If no one has told you lately: there is nothing wrong with you.

Yes, the world can be confusing, harsh, and overwhelming. But you? You are still whole.

You’re allowed to feel tired. You’re allowed to feel lost. And you’re allowed to rest.

But please don’t mistake being different for being broken.

Because in your difference lies your depth, your strength, and your quiet brilliance.

Share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your reactions, thoughts and feelings.

Hyperfocus: The Joy (and Challenge) of Deep Dives

by Lucinda | 17, Mar 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Empowerment, Hyperfocus, Neurodivergent

Hyperfocus: The Joy (and Challenge) of Deep Dives

I was catching up with a friend over coffee when she sighed, shaking her head with a wry smile.

“I just don’t get it. I sat down to do a quick bit of research for my project, and before I knew it, six hours had passed! I forgot to eat, I ignored my phone—nothing else existed. It’s like I disappeared into another world. Is that normal?”

A familiar spark of recognition lit up in me. “That sounds perfectly normal to me!! It’s called ‘hyperfocus’!” I said.

If you’ve ever lost yourself in an absorbing task—emerging hours later, dazed and completely unaware of the time—you might have experienced hyperfocus, too.

It’s the intense, immersive state where distractions fade away, and your entire being locks onto one fascinating thing.

Whether it’s reading, gaming, creating, or problem-solving, hyperfocus can feel like a superpower—until it’s not.

What is Hyperfocus?

It is a state of deep concentration where a person becomes completely absorbed in an activity, often to the exclusion of everything else.

It’s most commonly associated with neurodiverse individuals, particularly those with ADHD and autism, but anyone can experience it.

Unlike general concentration, which can be consciously controlled, hyperfocus often feels involuntary.

It’s not just paying attention—it’s disappearing into something, sometimes to the point of neglecting basic needs like eating, sleeping, or responding to others.

The Double-Edged Sword

Hyperfocus can be a gift.

It allows for deep learning, creativity, and productivity.

Many breakthroughs in science, art, and technology have likely come from someone deeply immersed in their work.

But it also has its downsides.

If the focus locks onto the ‘wrong’ thing (a video game instead of an important deadline, or a creative project instead of much-needed sleep), it can cause frustration, stress, or even burnout.

It can also make it difficult to switch tasks, leading to missed appointments, unfinished chores, and an imbalance in daily life.

Monotropism: The Science Behind Hyperfocus

A key concept linked to hyperfocus is monotropism – the idea that some brains naturally focus on fewer things at a deeper level, rather than spreading attention broadly.

This explains why shifting attention can be difficult and why deep dives into interests are so rewarding.

For those with a monotropic attention style, engaging in a passion feels energising and fulfilling, but being forced to multitask or switch focus can be exhausting.

Understanding this can help people manage their focus more effectively, rather than fighting against it.

Managing Hyperfocus: Harnessing the Magic

If this is something you experience, here are a few ways to work with it rather than against it:

1️⃣ Set External Reminders – Alarms, timers, and accountability check-ins can help break up long focus sessions so you remember to eat, drink, and rest.

2️⃣ Plan ‘Deep Work’ Time – If you know you hyperfocus best in the evenings, schedule important tasks for then, instead of forcing yourself into less optimal times.

3️⃣ Create Soft Exit Strategies – Transitioning out of hyperfocus can be difficult. Using a wind-down routine, like journaling your progress or setting a stopping point in advance, can make it easier.

4️⃣ Use It to Your Advantage – When channelled well, hyperfocus can be an incredible asset for work, hobbies, and personal growth. Understanding your own patterns helps you make the most of it.

5️⃣ Build Recovery Time – Hyperfocus can be exhilarating but also exhausting. Plan for rest, movement, and downtime after deep dives to prevent burnout and keep your focus sustainable.