Boundaries Archives - Lucinda Curran, Sound Healer & Life Coach

Late-Identified Neurodiversity – Rediscovering Myself

by Lucinda | 2, May 2025 | Autism, Boundaries, Masking, Meltdowns, Neurodiversity

Late-Identified Neurodiversity = Internal University

Figuring out that I’m neurodiverse in my mid-50s certainly qualifies as late-identified neurodiversity!

I’ve always known — and embraced — that I’m different. But it’s only recently that I’ve begun to understand the full scope of my neurodiversity. I may be neurodiverse in multiple ways.

I’ve always known I was an introvert, and that felt like part of my neurodiversity. But discovering that I’m also autistic?

That part is new.

Looking Back Through a Neurodiverse Lens

With the insight I’m gaining now, I can see autism running through my life like a thread — sometimes fine and golden, sometimes tangled.

As a child, I loved solitude. I’d read science books and do experiments, learn to knit and crochet from crafting guides, and explore the vivid, layered world inside me.

When I did venture out, I saw things that weren’t right. Even at 7 or 8, I was campaigning to protect animals and the environment — creating petitions, going door to door to collect signatures, and sending them to the government.

I also had what my parents called “tantrums” — which meant being sent to my room (blessed solitude!). Now I understand these were likely meltdowns. The world overwhelmed me, and there was little awareness of autism back then.

Interestingly, my dad self-diagnosed as “mildly autistic.” It never quite landed with me — but he made me feel normal in a way no one else did.

Masking… and the Cost

Masking is the art of hiding your neurodiverse traits to fit into the neurotypical world.

Given I’ve gotten this far in life with only about four people recognising I might be neurodiverse – I’m pretty good at it!

My mission now is to gently unpick the mask — to understand when and how I mask, and most importantly, the toll it takes on my energy.

But because masking has become so automatic, it’s difficult to spot.

One video on YouTube helped illuminate this for me — I’ll share it below. I’ve watched it several times, laughing out loud at how deeply I relate.

(Especially the “watching the movie” scene… oh my stars — that is so me. It’s probably why I adore The Detectorists.)

Watch it here:

What’s Beneath the Mask?

I’m still discovering that part.

I’ve taken a short pause from life — a reset — to tune into my own rhythms. I’m learning what I truly need, and what my limits are.

Here’s what I’ve uncovered so far:

🕊️ Making time for myself early in the day
🐶 More puppy time (play and cuddles!)
🌪️ Limiting time in environments that are intense or draining
🗓️ Structuring my days to reflect my needs — which are still evolving
🚫 Saying firm no’s to what feels soul-sapping
🌿 Spending more time in nature — restoring myself, and watching satin bowerbirds build their bowers
🍲 Eating in ways that support my body
💫 Welcoming in more of what I love

This journey of late-identified neurodiversity is not about labelling. It’s about liberation. About finally seeing myself with clarity, compassion, and care.

And maybe, just maybe, letting that mask fall away — one kind choice at a time.

Have you ever experienced a moment of self-discovery that changed the way you see your past?

I’d love to hear what helped you make sense of your difference — whether recently, or long ago.

Please feel welcome to share in the comments, or just sit with the question gently and see what it stirs.

Honouring Your Needs as a Neurodiverse Person

by Lucinda | 14, Feb 2025 | Boundaries, Empowerment, Neurodiversity, Priorities

Honouring your needs is a rare skill.

Honouring your needs can transform your life!

Most people aren’t taught how to truly listen to their bodies, and for those of us who are neurodiverse, this can be especially challenging. Many environments simply aren’t designed with our heightened senses, deep focus, and unique ways of processing the world in mind.

So, what happens? We push through. We try to fit in. And in the process, we often ignore the signs that something isn’t working for us.

When Your Body Says No

Have you ever walked away from a situation feeling completely drained, irritable, or on the edge of a headache? Maybe you get that sinking, cringey feeling whenever you think about a certain task or social interaction. Perhaps you get a pain in your tummy. Or even “prickles” on your skin.

That’s your body sending you a message.

But many of us have been taught to override those messages—to force ourselves into uncomfortable situations just to meet expectations that weren’t designed for us.

The Cost of Masking

One of the biggest energy drains for neurodiverse people is masking. Masking means consciously or unconsciously hiding traits that might make you stand out—forcing eye contact, mimicking social cues, or suppressing stimming (repetitive movements or sounds that help with self-regulation).

It’s exhausting. And over time, masking can lead to burnout.

But what if you didn’t have to fight against yourself?

Honouring Your Needs

Instead of trying to fit into an environment that wasn’t built for you, you can create a rhythm that truly supports your wellbeing.

Struggle with back-to-back meetings? Schedule buffer time to recharge between them.

Find noisy spaces overwhelming? Noise-cancelling headphones, a quiet workspace, or remote work options can make a huge difference.

Need movement to focus? Stimming—whether it’s tapping your fingers, bouncing your leg, or using a fidget toy—is a valid and helpful way to regulate your energy.

When you listen to your body’s signals, you can make choices that honour your needs, rather than forcing yourself into a mould that doesn’t fit.

It’s Okay to Be Different

Your differences aren’t flaws—they’re part of what makes you you. Instead of pushing yourself to exhaustion trying to meet expectations that don’t serve you, try experimenting with what actually feels good.

Give yourself permission to rest, to stim, to set boundaries, to be unapologetically yourself.

Because when you stop fighting against who you are, you make space for a life that truly supports you.

You Deserve Support

Honouring your needs isn’t always easy—especially in a world that often expects you to conform. But the more you listen to yourself, the more you create a life that feels right for you.

What’s one small way you can honour your needs today? I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to share in the comments or reflect on it for yourself. 💛

honouring your needs - blue and yellow balloons - LucindaCurran.com

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Finish the Year Strong

by Lucinda | 12, Oct 2024 | Boundaries, Empowerment, Energy, Motivation, Priorities

How To Finish The Year Strong and Tune into What You Really Need

As the final quarter of the year unfolds, many of us find ourselves swept up in the whirlwind of social commitments, work deadlines, and festive preparations. It’s often called the “silly season” for a reason!

There’s pressure to show up everywhere, say yes to every event, and push ourselves to meet the demands of the season. But amid all this activity, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you really need?

As we begin this final quarter, pause and spend some time in reflection and renewal. Instead of rushing through the next few months, take this opportunity to slow down and check in with yourself.

What if you could finish the year strong, instead of exhausting your reserves, if you could manage your energy in a way that truly supports your wellbeing?

This is where some deep self-inquiry comes in. Journalling is a powerful tool to help you connect with your inner wisdom and bring clarity to what’s most important for you.

Below are a few prompts to help guide you in this process. I encourage you to set aside some quiet time, get comfortable, and write freely in response to these questions. Let them help you tune into your own needs as the year draws to a close.

7 Journal Prompts to Finish the Year Strong

1. At a really deep level, what do I need?

This question invites you to bypass the surface-level ‘to-dos’ and look deeper into what your mind, body, and soul are asking for. Whether it’s more rest, a stronger sense of connection, or time alone to recharge, allow yourself to listen to your inner voice.

2. What commitments truly align with my values, and which ones drain my energy?

Not all activities bring equal satisfaction. Consider which events or tasks light you up and align with what matters most to you, versus those that feel obligatory or depleting.

3. How can I create boundaries that protect my energy during the busiest times?

We can’t say yes to everything. Reflect on where you might need to establish or reinforce boundaries to ensure you’re not overextending yourself.

4. What is one thing I can let go of that no longer serves me?

The end of the year is a great time to release what feels heavy or unnecessary, whether that’s an old habit, a commitment, or an emotional burden.

5. How can I incorporate moments of stillness or self-care into my daily routine?

During chaotic times, small practices of self-care can make all the difference. Explore how you can introduce or enhance moments of mindfulness, relaxation, or reflection to nourish yourself through the end of the year.

6. Who do I want to be at the start of the new year, and how can I embody that now?

Visualise the person you wish to become as the new year begins. What actions, mindset shifts, or choices can you make now that will help you align with that version of yourself?

7. What would it feel like to close the year with peace rather than pressure?

Imagine ending the year feeling peaceful and content rather than stressed and overwhelmed. How can you structure your time and energy to create that sense of ease as the year wraps up?

Some Final Words

As we approach the busiest time of the year, it’s essential to pause and reflect on what truly matters. These prompts are designed to help you connect with your deepest needs and find a sense of calm amid the chaos.

The goal isn’t to “get through” the end of the year but to finish strong – grounded, energised, and aligned with your authentic self.

Take a moment for yourself today, and start asking these important questions. You’re worth it!

Embrace Your Inner Strength

by Lucinda | 4, May 2024 | Boundaries, Empowerment, Inspiration

Embracing Your Inner Strength

Hey there! Today I want to explore ways to embrace your inner strength. Let’s dive in.

Have you ever felt like you’re floating downstream, carried along by the currents of life without much say in the matter?

It’s a common feeling, one that often leaves us feeling powerless and adrift. But here’s the thing – you have more power than you realise.

It’s time to reclaim it and step into your true strength.

With many clients that I’ve worked with over the years, there are times that they’ve felt completely overwhelmed and like life is out of their control. I’ve experienced this too.

For my client Joe, it seemed like no matter what he did, he couldn’t catch a break, and he started to lose sight of who he truly was. When he relayed this in-session, he realised that he had been giving away his power – allowing external circumstances to dictate his happiness and sense of self-worth.

It’s Time To Stop Giving Away Your Power

Let’s start by defining it.

What does it mean to “give your power away”?

Simply put, it’s when we allow outside influences to control how we think, feel, and act. Whether it’s seeking validation from others, comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards, or allowing fear to hold us back –

Giving away our power diminishes our sense of agency and autonomy.

We do this in many ways – and one of the most common ways is asking everybody for their advice. Another way is scrolling through social media and letting comparisons get the better of us. This can also see “imposter syndrome” creep in.

inner strength bridge image - LucindaCurran.com

There is a way out of this cycle.

The first step is recognising when we’re falling into the trap of giving away our power.

How? I hear you ask.

Pause and pay attention to how you feel in different situations.

Is there a sense of feeling empowered and in control?
Do you feel helpless and overwhelmed?

By tuning into our emotions and our bodies (even if it is just the flutter of a sensation from within), we can begin to identify patterns of behaviour that are holding us back.

If you aren’t sure what you are feeling, I invite you to tune into the sensations of expansion and contraction.

Here’s a quick exercise to help build this awareness –

Sit quietly. Take a few slow breaths. Place your hands on your heart to bring your attention to this area. Now bring to mind a situation or scenario. Notice if your heart feels expansive (opening, getting bigger, warm are some sensations you might feel) or is it contracting (tightening, getting smaller, making you curl over)?

Repeat this exercise with other scenarios.

The more you do it, the quicker it will be for you to identify whether you are feeling empowered or overwhelmed.

The Power Within

My question for you is: Do you believe that you have control over the events in your life?

The extent that you feel you can shape your own life is referred to as your “locus of control” (a concept developed by Rotter in 1954).

Those with an internal locus of control believe they have the power to influence their circumstances.

While those with an external locus of control believe that external forces determine their fate.

If you believe that you have some “control” over what happens in your life, you may be more motivated to go for what you want, rather than sit back and wait to see what lands in your lap.

I see there is a blend of empowerment and courage within an internal locus of control because it requires you to reach for what you want and be proactive in your life.

So, how can we reclaim our power?

It starts with cultivating a sense of inner calm so that we can become aware of our inner wisdom – that deep, intuitive knowing that guides us on our journey.

Practices like sound healing and life coaching can be powerful tools for connecting with this inner wisdom, helping us tap into our innate strength and resilience.

Cultivating Your Inner Strength

Here are some practices which I’ve found particularly helpful (for myself and my clients) – what I call a “Humming Meditation” and “Aware Breaths.”

Humming Meditation

Sit quietly and soften your gaze.

Take a few deep slow breaths in and out.

Begin to hum – at whatever volume and pitch that you like. Hum for a few minutes – you could start with 2 minutes and build up to 8-10 minutes.

While you are humming, become aware of where in your body you are feeling it. Are your lips buzzing? Or perhaps you can feel it in your chest? Or your throat? Or somewhere else?

When you finish humming, sit in the quietness and notice where in your body you are feeling the remnant vibrations.