Boundaries Archives - Lucinda Curran, Sound Healer & Life Coach

Why I Still Say Neurodivergence Is a Superpower

by Lucinda | 17, Jul 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Empowerment, Inspiration, Motivation, Neurodivergent, Uniqueness

Why I Still Say Neurodivergence Is a Superpower

I know not everyone likes the term “superpower” when it comes to autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other forms of neurodivergence.

Some say it sugarcoats real challenges. Others feel it sets unfair expectations. And I hear that — truly.

But here’s why I still say it.

Because For Many, The Starting Point Is Feeling Broken

When you grow up being constantly corrected, misunderstood, or labelled as “too much” or “not enough,” you internalise the belief that there’s something wrong with you.

Many of the neurodivergent people I work with (and this includes me) spent years feeling defective. Masking, shrinking, trying to meet standards that were never designed for our brains or bodies.

So when I say “your neurodivergence is a superpower,” it’s not to deny the hard bits. It’s to disrupt the old story that we’re somehow fundamentally flawed.

The Double-Sided Coin

Neurodivergence often means living with big challenges: sensory overload, executive dysfunction, overwhelm, social burnout.

But the same brain wiring that makes us struggle can also be what makes us shine.

That laser focus on a passion?
The way patterns jump out where others see nothing?
The creative problem-solving, deep empathy, or fierce sense of justice?

That’s not in spite of being neurodivergent. That’s because of it.

What It Feels Like Inside

When I’m in a flow state — writing, making music, or guiding a sound session — it’s like my entire nervous system is lit up from the inside. Everything clicks. Colours feel brighter, ideas spark, connections form effortlessly.

Is it overwhelming sometimes? Yes.
Is it beautiful? Also yes.

It’s why I sometimes describe neurodivergence as having a sensitive instrument — finely tuned, sometimes fragile, but capable of picking up and creating things others might miss.

Why “Superpower” Still Matters To Me

Because it reframes. It says:

You’re not broken, just different.
Your traits are not defects, they’re part of a beautifully complex design.
You have capacities that are unique — and deeply needed in this world.

It’s also about hope. About planting the idea that even if school, work, or relationships have felt like relentless uphill battles, there’s still immense value in how your brain and body work.

Of Course, Challenges Are Real

Saying “it’s a superpower” doesn’t mean ignoring meltdowns, shutdowns, executive dysfunction, or the exhausting reality of living in a world not built for us.

But it does invite us to see the whole picture — including the brilliance and magic woven through our differences.

Keep Exploring With Me

I talk more about this in my video Why I Still Say It’s a Superpower (Even When Others Don’t).

If you’ve ever felt caught between “I’m struggling” and “I’m extraordinary,” this one’s for you — it’s about rewriting the old narrative of brokenness into one of worth and wonder.

Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025

by Lucinda | 26, Jun 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Neurodivergent, PDA, RSD

Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025

I recently had the privilege of attending the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 — a space dedicated to supporting autistic girls and gender-diverse young people. It was an inspiring, heart-opening experience filled with wisdom that I’m eager to share with you. Here are some of the most powerful insights that stayed with me:

Reflections and Insights

Neurokin: The Power of Connection Among Neurodivergent People

One beautiful concept I encountered is neurokin — yes, that word really exists!

It describes the unique connection and understanding that naturally forms between neurodivergent individuals. It’s that unspoken bond, a deep sense of being seen and understood without explanation.

Neurokin reminds us that community isn’t just nice to have — it’s vital for our wellbeing and growth.

When Escalation Happens, Step Away

A key practical reminder was about emotional escalation.

Sometimes, especially within families or close communities where neurodivergence is common, tensions can rise quickly, with everyone amplifying each other’s stress.

The advice was simple but powerful: if you find yourself escalating with someone else, it’s a clear sign to step away — physically or emotionally — to reset before reconnecting.

This pause can prevent misunderstandings and create space for compassion.

Conflicting Needs Within Neurodivergent Families

Many neurodivergent traits are shared within families, which means conflicting needs are natural and expected.

Sometimes, two or more people want different things at the same time — sensory comfort, quiet, movement, or social interaction.

The takeaway? Express your needs clearly, listen to others, and sometimes prioritise whose needs take precedence in the moment.

It’s not always easy, but communication and mutual respect help everyone feel seen and supported.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): A Lifeline for Understanding

I had never heard of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) before this conference.

Learning about RSD was deeply helpful in understanding why so many neurodivergent people can find themselves in dysfunctional or painful relationships.

RSD involves intense emotional pain triggered by perceived (or real) rejection or criticism — often disproportionate to the event itself.

Knowing about RSD can be a lifeline: it’s not “just being too sensitive,” but a neurological response that deserves compassion and tailored strategies.

PDA Is So Much More Than “Not Wanting to Be Told What to Do”

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) came up frequently.

The common misconception is that PDA means simply “not wanting to be told what to do.”

But in reality, PDA is a complex profile that affects everyday life deeply. It involves anxiety-driven avoidance of demands, sometimes leading to creative resistance, social strategies, or emotional shutdowns.

Understanding PDA means seeing beyond behaviour to the underlying emotions and needs — which opens pathways for more supportive responses.

The Power of Lived Experience: Nothing About Us Without Us

A thread throughout the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 was the importance of lived experience.

When it comes to understanding and supporting neurodivergent people, nothing replaces the insight of those who have walked the path themselves.

Whether it’s through research, education, therapy, or everyday advocacy, the voices of neurodivergent people must be central. Lived experience brings nuance, authenticity, and clarity that no second-hand interpretation can match.

When we centre neurodivergent voices, we move closer to support that actually fits — support that respects autonomy, celebrates difference, and meets real needs with compassion.

As they often said: “Nothing about us without us.”

Energy Meter: A Brilliant Tool for Managing Your Day

One of the most practical tools shared was the Energy Meter from Autism Level Up. This tool invites you to gauge your current energy levels and consider whether your energy matches the task at hand. For example, if you’re “amped up and fidgety,” is that the right energy state for working on a focused project?

If it’s not a match, do you need to level up or level down?

What’s especially important is that you — the individual — decide where you are at and choose the energy level required for your task. Everyone expresses energy levels differently.

As they say, “If you’ve met one Autistic person, you’ve met one Autistic person.” There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Autism Level Up offers resources to help you learn how to adjust your energy intentionally to meet your needs.

Closing Words

Attending the Yellow Ladybugs Conference 2025 reminded me how important it is to stay curious and compassionate — especially with ourselves and those we love who navigate the world differently. It also reminded me how important community is – where there is an unspoken understanding and deep respect for one another. I am already looking forward to next year’s conference.

The insights I gained are gifts I’ll carry forward, and I hope sharing them can support you too.

If you’d like to hear more about any of these topics or want resources, please reach out or comment below. Let’s keep building that beautiful neurokin community together (you can come and join Different… and Loving It! if you like!).

With warmth and deep respect,
Lucinda

Late-Identified Neurodiversity – Rediscovering Myself

by Lucinda | 2, May 2025 | Autism, Boundaries, Masking, Meltdowns, Neurodivergent

Late-Identified Neurodiversity = Internal University

Figuring out that I’m neurodiverse in my mid-50s certainly qualifies as late-identified neurodiversity!

I’ve always known — and embraced — that I’m different. But it’s only recently that I’ve begun to understand the full scope of my neurodiversity. I may be neurodiverse in multiple ways.

I’ve always known I was an introvert, and that felt like part of my neurodiversity. But discovering that I’m also autistic?

That part is new.

Looking Back Through a Neurodiverse Lens

With the insight I’m gaining now, I can see autism running through my life like a thread — sometimes fine and golden, sometimes tangled.

As a child, I loved solitude. I’d read science books and do experiments, learn to knit and crochet from crafting guides, and explore the vivid, layered world inside me.

When I did venture out, I saw things that weren’t right. Even at 7 or 8, I was campaigning to protect animals and the environment — creating petitions, going door to door to collect signatures, and sending them to the government.

I also had what my parents called “tantrums” — which meant being sent to my room (blessed solitude!). Now I understand these were likely meltdowns. The world overwhelmed me, and there was little awareness of autism back then.

Interestingly, my dad self-diagnosed as “mildly autistic.” It never quite landed with me — but he made me feel normal in a way no one else did.

Masking… and the Cost

Masking is the art of hiding your neurodiverse traits to fit into the neurotypical world.

Given I’ve gotten this far in life with only about four people recognising I might be neurodiverse – I’m pretty good at it!

My mission now is to gently unpick the mask — to understand when and how I mask, and most importantly, the toll it takes on my energy.

But because masking has become so automatic, it’s difficult to spot.

One video on YouTube helped illuminate this for me — I’ll share it below. I’ve watched it several times, laughing out loud at how deeply I relate.

(Especially the “watching the movie” scene… oh my stars — that is so me. It’s probably why I adore The Detectorists.)

Watch it here:

What’s Beneath the Mask?

I’m still discovering that part.

I’ve taken a short pause from life — a reset — to tune into my own rhythms. I’m learning what I truly need, and what my limits are.

Here’s what I’ve uncovered so far:

🕊️ Making time for myself early in the day
🐶 More puppy time (play and cuddles!)
🌪️ Limiting time in environments that are intense or draining
🗓️ Structuring my days to reflect my needs — which are still evolving
🚫 Saying firm no’s to what feels soul-sapping
🌿 Spending more time in nature — restoring myself, and watching satin bowerbirds build their bowers
🍲 Eating in ways that support my body
💫 Welcoming in more of what I love

This journey of late-identified neurodiversity is not about labelling. It’s about liberation. About finally seeing myself with clarity, compassion, and care.

And maybe, just maybe, letting that mask fall away — one kind choice at a time.

Have you ever experienced a moment of self-discovery that changed the way you see your past?

I’d love to hear what helped you make sense of your difference — whether recently, or long ago.

Please feel welcome to share in the comments, or just sit with the question gently and see what it stirs.

How to Stop Feeling Broken

by Lucinda | 17, Apr 2025 | ADHD/ADD, Autism, Boundaries, Neurodivergent, Uniqueness

How to Stop Feeling Broken – You’re Just Different

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that you’re not quite right? That somehow, you missed a memo on how to “human” correctly?

Maybe you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, too intense, too quiet, too loud, too much—or not enough.

That feeling of not fitting in can be overwhelming. It can convince you that you’re somehow broken.

But here’s the truth: You are not broken. You’re just different.

And different is NOT a flaw.

What Feeling Broken Really Means

That “feeling broken” sensation often comes from years of internalising messages that something about you needs fixing.

For many neurodiverse people, that message starts early: at school, in social groups, in work environments built for a different kind of brain.

Feeling broken isn’t really about who you are. It’s about how you’ve been made to feel.

When the world isn’t designed with your way of thinking, feeling, or sensing in mind, it can wear you down.

But your differences – your sensitivities, your focus, your perspective – aren’t errors. They’re signals of a mind that works uniquely.

Reframing “Broken” as “Brilliant”

Let’s flip the narrative.

What if those things that make you feel broken are actually signs of brilliance?

🌱 Struggle in noisy environments? That might mean you have finely tuned sensory awareness.
💡 Need time alone to recharge? You may process deeply and feel more than others.
✨ Communicate differently? That’s not a flaw—it’s another form of fluency.

The world needs all kinds of thinkers, feelers, and beings. Your uniqueness might just be the perspective someone else is longing to hear.

How to Start Healing That Feeling

If you’re stuck in the cycle of feeling broken, here are a few gentle steps to help shift that story:

Notice the narrative
Pay attention to the inner voice that says, “I’m too much” or “I don’t belong.”
Whose voice is that? Often, it’s not yours.
Seek spaces that celebrate difference
When you find places—online or in real life—where people get you, it’s like a deep exhale. Community matters.
Speak kindly to yourself
Start small: “I am doing my best.” “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Let those words begin to soften the edges.
Recognise your strengths
Make a list of what you do well—not just achievements, but traits: creativity, compassion, pattern recognition, perseverance.
Start to celebrate you.
Get support
Whether it’s a coach, therapist, mentor or trusted friend –
Being seen and heard by someone who understands can be powerful.

You Are Not Broken—You Are Becoming

If no one has told you lately: there is nothing wrong with you.

Yes, the world can be confusing, harsh, and overwhelming. But you? You are still whole.

You’re allowed to feel tired. You’re allowed to feel lost. And you’re allowed to rest.

But please don’t mistake being different for being broken.

Because in your difference lies your depth, your strength, and your quiet brilliance.

Share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your reactions, thoughts and feelings.

Honouring Your Needs as a Neurodiverse Person

by Lucinda | 14, Feb 2025 | Boundaries, Empowerment, Neurodivergent, Priorities

Honouring your needs is a rare skill.

Honouring your needs can transform your life!

Most people aren’t taught how to truly listen to their bodies, and for those of us who are neurodiverse, this can be especially challenging. Many environments simply aren’t designed with our heightened senses, deep focus, and unique ways of processing the world in mind.

So, what happens? We push through. We try to fit in. And in the process, we often ignore the signs that something isn’t working for us.

When Your Body Says No

Have you ever walked away from a situation feeling completely drained, irritable, or on the edge of a headache? Maybe you get that sinking, cringey feeling whenever you think about a certain task or social interaction. Perhaps you get a pain in your tummy. Or even “prickles” on your skin.

That’s your body sending you a message.

But many of us have been taught to override those messages—to force ourselves into uncomfortable situations just to meet expectations that weren’t designed for us.

The Cost of Masking

One of the biggest energy drains for neurodiverse people is masking. Masking means consciously or unconsciously hiding traits that might make you stand out—forcing eye contact, mimicking social cues, or suppressing stimming (repetitive movements or sounds that help with self-regulation).

It’s exhausting. And over time, masking can lead to burnout.

But what if you didn’t have to fight against yourself?

Honouring Your Needs

Instead of trying to fit into an environment that wasn’t built for you, you can create a rhythm that truly supports your wellbeing.

Struggle with back-to-back meetings? Schedule buffer time to recharge between them.

Find noisy spaces overwhelming? Noise-cancelling headphones, a quiet workspace, or remote work options can make a huge difference.

Need movement to focus? Stimming—whether it’s tapping your fingers, bouncing your leg, or using a fidget toy—is a valid and helpful way to regulate your energy.

When you listen to your body’s signals, you can make choices that honour your needs, rather than forcing yourself into a mould that doesn’t fit.

It’s Okay to Be Different

Your differences aren’t flaws—they’re part of what makes you you. Instead of pushing yourself to exhaustion trying to meet expectations that don’t serve you, try experimenting with what actually feels good.

Give yourself permission to rest, to stim, to set boundaries, to be unapologetically yourself.

Because when you stop fighting against who you are, you make space for a life that truly supports you.

You Deserve Support

Honouring your needs isn’t always easy—especially in a world that often expects you to conform. But the more you listen to yourself, the more you create a life that feels right for you.

What’s one small way you can honour your needs today? I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to share in the comments or reflect on it for yourself. 💛

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Finish the Year Strong

by Lucinda | 12, Oct 2024 | Boundaries, Empowerment, Energy, Motivation, Priorities

How To Finish The Year Strong and Tune into What You Really Need

As the final quarter of the year unfolds, many of us find ourselves swept up in the whirlwind of social commitments, work deadlines, and festive preparations. It’s often called the “silly season” for a reason!

There’s pressure to show up everywhere, say yes to every event, and push ourselves to meet the demands of the season. But amid all this activity, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you really need?

As we begin this final quarter, pause and spend some time in reflection and renewal. Instead of rushing through the next few months, take this opportunity to slow down and check in with yourself.

What if you could finish the year strong, instead of exhausting your reserves, if you could manage your energy in a way that truly supports your wellbeing?

This is where some deep self-inquiry comes in. Journalling is a powerful tool to help you connect with your inner wisdom and bring clarity to what’s most important for you.

Below are a few prompts to help guide you in this process. I encourage you to set aside some quiet time, get comfortable, and write freely in response to these questions. Let them help you tune into your own needs as the year draws to a close.

7 Journal Prompts to Finish the Year Strong

1. At a really deep level, what do I need?

This question invites you to bypass the surface-level ‘to-dos’ and look deeper into what your mind, body, and soul are asking for. Whether it’s more rest, a stronger sense of connection, or time alone to recharge, allow yourself to listen to your inner voice.

2. What commitments truly align with my values, and which ones drain my energy?

Not all activities bring equal satisfaction. Consider which events or tasks light you up and align with what matters most to you, versus those that feel obligatory or depleting.

3. How can I create boundaries that protect my energy during the busiest times?

We can’t say yes to everything. Reflect on where you might need to establish or reinforce boundaries to ensure you’re not overextending yourself.

4. What is one thing I can let go of that no longer serves me?

The end of the year is a great time to release what feels heavy or unnecessary, whether that’s an old habit, a commitment, or an emotional burden.

5. How can I incorporate moments of stillness or self-care into my daily routine?

During chaotic times, small practices of self-care can make all the difference. Explore how you can introduce or enhance moments of mindfulness, relaxation, or reflection to nourish yourself through the end of the year.

6. Who do I want to be at the start of the new year, and how can I embody that now?

Visualise the person you wish to become as the new year begins. What actions, mindset shifts, or choices can you make now that will help you align with that version of yourself?

7. What would it feel like to close the year with peace rather than pressure?

Imagine ending the year feeling peaceful and content rather than stressed and overwhelmed. How can you structure your time and energy to create that sense of ease as the year wraps up?

Some Final Words

As we approach the busiest time of the year, it’s essential to pause and reflect on what truly matters. These prompts are designed to help you connect with your deepest needs and find a sense of calm amid the chaos.

The goal isn’t to “get through” the end of the year but to finish strong – grounded, energised, and aligned with your authentic self.

Take a moment for yourself today, and start asking these important questions. You’re worth it!