logo 2025 white clear bk@lucindacurran.com
Music as a Portal: Where Does Your Favourite Song Take You?

Music as a Portal: Where Does Your Favourite Song Take You?

by | 5, Aug 2026 | ADHD, AuDHD, Autism, Emotions, Empowerment, Identity, Inspiration, Motivation, Music, Neurodivergent, Regulation, Self-Acceptance

Music as a Portal: Where Does Your Favourite Song Take You?

Music as a portal can open doorways into memories, emotions, imagination and experiences that are difficult to access in other ways.

A familiar song can transport us somewhere almost instantly. A melody may return us to a particular moment in time, remind us of someone important, create vivid images in our minds or shift the way we experience the present moment.

The music itself has not changed who we are.

Instead, it has created a pathway.

It has invited us into a different experience of ourselves.

Music Can Take Us Somewhere

Some songs feel like journeys.

Within a few seconds, we may find ourselves somewhere else entirely.

Perhaps it is a:

  • Childhood memory
  • Place we once visited
  • Moment we thought we had forgotten
  • Feeling we have not experienced for a while
  • Or an imagined world that exists only within our own mind

Music has a unique ability to connect with parts of our experience that do not always arrive through words or deliberate thought.

Sometimes a song brings back a memory before we have consciously identified what it is connected to.

A rhythm, a melody or a particular sound may unlock a feeling that has been quietly stored away.

Music Can Create Worlds Without Explaining Them

Instrumental music is especially fascinating because it can communicate personality, movement and atmosphere without lyrics.

A piece of music can feel:

  • Playful
  • Mysterious
  • Confident
  • Gentle
  • Curious
  • Powerful
  • Reflective

We often sense these qualities before we analyse why.

The Pink Panther theme by Henry Mancini is a wonderful example of this.

Within the opening notes, many people immediately recognise a particular character. The music suggests movement, personality and attitude without needing to explain anything.

It creates a world.

It invites us to imagine.

Watch the Pink Panther episode of The Outsider Within here:

Music Can Connect Us With Feelings

Music can also act as a pathway into emotion.

Not because a song forces us to feel a certain way, but because it creates space for feelings that may already exist within us.

A piece of music may help us access:

  • Joy that has been buried under busy days
  • Calm during times of overwhelm
  • Confidence when we need encouragement
  • Nostalgia for earlier experiences
  • Curiosity and imagination
  • A sense of freedom or possibility

The same song may offer something different at different points in our lives.

A song that once represented excitement may later become connected with grief, growth or change.

Our relationship with music evolves because we evolve.

Music Does Not Create a Different You

Sometimes we talk about music bringing out a different side of ourselves.

However, I think there is something more nuanced happening.

Music does not create a new version of us.

Instead, it can give certain qualities more room to be experienced.

A song may remind us that we are playful.

A melody may reconnect us with creativity.

Perhaps there’s a rhythm that may help us feel more confident, expressive or alive.

Those qualities were not created by the music.

The music simply opened a doorway.

The Body Often Enters the Conversation

Music is not only something we hear.

It is something we experience.

A song may change:

  • Our posture
  • The way we move
  • Our breathing
  • Our energy
  • The images we imagine
  • The way we connect with a moment

This is why music can feel so powerful.

Our bodies often respond before our minds have explained what is happening.

A particular song might make us sway, dance, walk differently or become still.

Those responses are part of the conversation between sound and self.

Creating Your Own Music Portal Map

If music can open doorways, it is worth exploring where your own favourite songs take you.

A useful reflection is not only:

“What music do I like?”

but also:

“Where does this music take me?”

You might notice songs that:

  • Return you to important memories
  • Help you feel a particular emotion
  • Inspire creativity
  • Make you feel more like yourself
  • Open imaginary worlds

To explore this further, you can download the Your Personal Music Portal Map reflection guide.

Your Personal Music Portal Map


Get Access Now

Where Does Your Music Take You?

There is no single way to experience music.

A song may be a memory, place, feeling, story, a doorway into imagination.

Perhaps the next time a familiar song begins, you might pause and notice:

Where is this music taking me?

You May Also Be Interested In

Being Seen: Discovering Who You Already Are

Being Seen: Discovering Who You Already Are

by | 22, Jul 2026 | ADHD, AuDHD, Autism, Identity, Neurodivergent, Self-Acceptance

Being Seen

Discovering Who You Already Are

Being seen can be a deeply transformative experience.

Not the version of yourself that has been carefully edited.

Or the version that has learned which parts are easier for others to accept.

Not the version that works hard to fit expectations.

Being seen means being recognised as a whole person. It means someone notices the parts of you that exist beneath performance, adaptation, and self-monitoring.

For many neurodivergent adults, this kind of recognition can feel surprisingly powerful. After years of adjusting, explaining, or wondering why certain experiences seemed harder than expected, genuine acceptance can create a different kind of space.

A space to reconnect, explore, and to discover that perhaps the goal was never to become someone else.

Perhaps it was learning to recognise who was already there.

The Difference Between Acceptance and Approval

Acceptance and approval can look similar from the outside. However, they create very different experiences.

Approval often carries conditions.

It can sound like:

“You are welcome when you behave this way.”

“It’s easier to understand when you hide that part.”

“You are valued because of what you achieve.”

Acceptance feels different.

Acceptance says:

  • “I see you.”
  • “I understand you.”
  • “You do not need to become someone else before you belong.”

For many neurodivergent people, this distinction matters deeply.

Many learn early that certain ways of communicating, moving, thinking, or responding do not always fit comfortably within the expectations around them.

As a result, they become skilled at adapting.

Those adaptations can be valuable. They can help people navigate workplaces, relationships, education, and social environments.

However, when adaptation becomes the only pathway to connection, it can become exhausting.

The Layers We Carry

It is tempting to imagine that authenticity means removing every layer we have developed.

Yet human beings are not simple objects waiting to be uncovered.

We are shaped by experience.

Our layers hold stories.

Some layers formed because we needed protection.

Others are formed because we discovered something meaningful.

Some developed through creativity, curiosity, joy, or connection.

A layer may be a:

  • Routine that creates stability
  • Passion that became part of identity
  • Communication style developed through experience
  • Role that brings meaning
  • Skill that helps navigate the world

Not every layer is something to remove.

The more useful question may be: “What purpose does this layer serve?”

Discovering Yourself Is Not the Same as Changing Yourself

Many stories of personal growth suggest that transformation means becoming a better version of yourself.

There’s a need to improve.

We need to overcome something.

Or we need to change.

However, sometimes growth looks different.

Sometimes growth means recognising what was already present.

A person may spend years believing they are lacking something because their strengths were not visible in the environments around them.

A deep thinker may be described as overcomplicating.

Someone who is sensitive may be described as too emotional.

A highly focused person may be described as inflexible.

Yet the same qualities can become strengths when the environment changes.

  • Deep focus can become expertise.
  • Sensitivity can become empathy.
  • Pattern recognition can become innovation.
  • Curiosity can become discovery.
  • A rich inner world can become creativity.

The strength was always there.

The conditions simply allowed it to emerge.

The Vulnerability of Joy

We often talk about vulnerability in relation to pain.

Sharing struggles.

Revealing difficulties.

Admitting when something is hard.

However, joy can also feel vulnerable.

Joy says this –

  • Matters to me
  • Brings me alive
  • Is part of who I am

For people who have experienced misunderstanding or rejection, openly expressing joy can feel surprisingly exposing.

Joy requires trust.

Expressing it requires safety.

It requires the belief that something precious will be welcomed rather than judged.

Being accepted in those moments can change the way we relate to ourselves.

The Stories Our Layers Hold

Sometimes we do not understand ourselves until something reflects our experiences back to us.

It could be a conversation.

A relationship.

Or a piece of music.

Even a story.

These moments can help us notice patterns that have existed quietly for years.

They do not create our identity.

Instead, they help us recognise it.

The stories held within our layers are not evidence of failure.

They are evidence of becoming.

The Tree Rings of Identity

Tree rings offer a beautiful way to understand personal growth.

Each ring records a –

  • Season
  • Period of growth
  • Period of challenge
  • Response to changing conditions

The tree does not become more authentic by losing its rings.

The rings are the evidence of the tree’s journey.

Our own experiences work in a similar way.

The difficult season, the joyful ones, the adaptations, the discoveries.

They all contribute to who we are becoming.

The goal is not to erase the rings.

But instead to understand the tree.

Finding Places Where We Can Breathe

Being seen does not mean every person will understand every part of us.

Connection is not about becoming universally accepted.

Instead, it is about finding relationships and environments where we can exist with less effort.

Where curiosity replaces judgement.

It is where difference is embraced, not seen as something to overcome.

Where strengths are noticed alongside challenges.

Because sometimes the greatest gift another person can offer is not changing us.

It is creating enough safety for us to discover ourselves.

When You’re Loved As You Are | Baby, I Love Your Way (cover) – Big Mountain

The latest The Outsider Within Video is the inspiration for this post – there is so much joy and acceptance in this song – it is a truly beautiful cover. 

On that note, it was only when I was researching it that I realised it was a cover. Do you know when it was first released?

I’d love you to check it out – you can watch it here… and if you feel inclined, please subscribe to my channel.

You May Also Be Interested In

Continue Exploring

If you have ever felt that the usual explanations for yourself do not quite fit, When the Rule Book Doesn’t Fit explores neurodivergent identity, self-understanding, and finding language for experiences that have often gone unnamed.

Neurodivergent Identity & The Layers We Carry

Neurodivergent Identity & The Layers We Carry

by | 14, Jul 2026 | Boundaries, Identity, Masking, Neurodivergent, Self-Acceptance

Neurodivergent Identity & The Layers We Carry

Stories Waiting to Be Told and Understood

Neurodivergent identity is not something we discover by peeling away everything that came before.

It is something we come to understand by becoming curious about the layers we carry.

The experiences.

Our adaptations.

The ways we learned to navigate the world.

The things we developed because we needed them, valued them, or simply because they became part of who we are.

When we talk about layers, it can be tempting to imagine that there is a “real self” hidden underneath everything else. A pure version waiting to be uncovered once all the protective layers are removed.

But perhaps identity is not found by taking things away.

Perhaps identity is discovered by listening to the stories held within what has already grown.

Neurodivergent Identity Is Built Through Experience

Many neurodivergent adults spend time looking backwards.

After diagnosis, self-discovery, or a significant moment of recognition, old experiences can begin to look different.

Behaviours that once seemed confusing may suddenly make sense.

A preference that felt unusual may reveal itself as a need.

Perhaps a lifelong pattern may become a clue rather than a flaw.

This process can involve grief, relief, curiosity, and compassion all at once.

Because understanding ourselves often means revisiting the layers that formed along the way.

Some layers were shaped by challenge.

Others were shaped by joy.

Some were created because they helped us belong.

Others were created because they helped us survive.

All of them are part of the story.

The Difference Between Layers and Masking

Masking is an important part of many neurodivergent experiences.

For some people, layers develop because they have learned to hide parts of themselves in environments where those parts were misunderstood, discouraged, or unsafe.

These layers may include:

  • Suppressing natural responses
  • Monitoring behaviour constantly
  • Copying expected social patterns
  • Hiding overwhelm
  • Minimising needs

Over time, these adaptations can become exhausting.

But not every layer is masking.

This distinction matters.

A layer can also be a:

  • Creative expression of identity
  • Skill developed through experience
  • Role that feels meaningful
  • Routine that supports wellbeing
  • Passion that has become part of who we are
  • Way of connecting with others

The question is not always: “What am I hiding?”

Sometimes the more helpful question is: “What purpose does this layer serve?”

The Stories Held Within Our Layers

The layers we carry are often stories waiting to be told and understood.

A preference for routine may hold a story about creating stability in a world that often feels unpredictable.

Your deep interest may hold a story about curiosity, connection, and joy.

A carefully developed communication style may hold a story about learning how to be understood.

Maybe a tendency to withdraw may hold a story about needing space to recover.

When we approach ourselves with curiosity rather than judgement, these layers become information.

They become invitations to understand.

Tree Rings: The Evidence of Becoming

Trees offer a beautiful way to think about identity.

Each ring records a season.

A period of growth, challenge or a response to the conditions around it.

The tree does not become more itself by losing its rings.

The rings are the evidence of the tree’s journey.

They are not imperfections or obstacles.

They are the record of becoming.

Our own layers can be understood in a similar way.

They tell the story of where we have been, what we have experienced, what we have adapted to, and what has mattered along the way.

The goal is not to erase the rings.

The goal is to understand the tree.

When Music Helps Us Hear Our Own Stories

Sometimes we do not recognise a layer until something reflects it back to us.

A conversation.

A memory.

A piece of writing.

Or a song.

Music has a unique ability to make invisible experiences feel visible.

A song can connect us with emotions we have not named.

It can reveal patterns we have repeated.

It can bring awareness to parts of ourselves that have quietly existed in the background.

The music does not create the story.

It helps us hear it.

Understanding Ourselves With Compassion

There is wisdom in becoming curious about the layers we carry.

Not every layer needs to stay.

Some may no longer fit.

Others may feel heavier than they once did.

Some may have served an important purpose during one season of life but are ready to be reconsidered.

But before we decide to change a layer, it helps to understand why it formed.

Because every layer came from somewhere.

Every layer carries information.

Every layer belongs to the story of becoming.

What Are We Protecting? | Onion Skin – Boom Crash Opera

The latest The Outsider Within Video is the inspiration for this post – as I explored this song, I pondered even more deeply about the role which the layers/rings serve.

I’d love you to check it out – you can watch it here… and if you feel inclined, please subscribe to my channel.

You May Also Be Interested In

Continue Exploring

If you have ever felt that the usual explanations for yourself do not quite fit, When the Rule Book Doesn’t Fit explores neurodivergent identity, self-understanding, and finding language for experiences that have often gone unnamed.

Neurodivergent Identity and Emotional Recognition Through Music

Neurodivergent Identity and Emotional Recognition Through Music

by | 10, Jun 2026 | ADHD, AuDHD, Autism, Identity, Music, Neurodivergent, Self-Acceptance

When Neurodivergent Identity and Emotional Recognition Comes Through Music

Sometimes understanding does not begin with explanation.

It begins with recognition.

A feeling lands before words fully form.
 Something inside quietly responds before the mind catches up.
 A song suddenly feels less like music and more like a mirror.

For many neurodivergent adults, emotional recognition arrives long before there is language for it.

Music can become one of the first places where identity feels visible.

Feeling different before there were words for it

Many neurodivergent people grow up carrying a persistent sense of difference without fully understanding why.

This can look like:

  • feeling slightly outside social spaces
  • adapting constantly to fit in
  • masking confusion or intensity
  • internalising misunderstanding as personal failure

Without a framework for neurodivergence, those experiences are often interpreted through self-blame rather than self-understanding.

Music as emotional recognition

Music has a unique way of bypassing analysis and speaking directly to lived experience.

Certain songs do more than entertain.

They recognise.

A lyric, tone, rhythm, or emotional texture can suddenly illuminate something that has been present internally for years.

This is why neurodivergent identity emotional recognition music can feel so powerful.

Music can:

  • create emotional clarity
  • reflect internal experience
  • validate feelings that previously felt isolated
  • reconnect people to parts of themselves hidden beneath masking

Sometimes recognition through music arrives before diagnosis, language, or conscious understanding.

Alienation and the grief of misunderstanding

Feeling “different” over long periods of time can shape identity deeply.

Not through one major moment, but through accumulation:

  • repeated misunderstanding
  • social exhaustion
  • adapting to avoid rejection
  • wondering why things feel harder than they seem for others

When recognition finally arrives, grief can emerge alongside relief.

There may be grief for:

  • years spent masking
  • emotional isolation
  • unmet support needs
  • versions of self shaped around survival rather than understanding

Reclaiming identity through recognition

Recognition changes the internal story.

Instead of: “What is wrong with me?”

A different possibility begins to emerge: “There may have been a reason things felt this hard.”

That shift matters profoundly.

Because understanding neurodivergent identity through emotional recognition creates space for self-compassion instead of self-erasure.

Latest Video – Alienation, Grief & Reclaiming Difference

Watch it here.

You May Be Interested

    Late Diagnosis and the Grief of “What If?”

    Late Diagnosis and the Grief of “What If?”

    by | 13, May 2026 | ADHD, AuDHD, Empowerment, Identity, ND Traits, Neurodivergent, Self-Acceptance

    Late diagnosis neurodivergent adults after years of misunderstanding

    For many neurodivergent adults, diagnosis answers questions that may have echoed quietly for years.

    Why  –

    • Was everything so hard?
    • Did life seem to require so much more effort?
    • Did the strategies that worked for others so often fall apart?
    • Didn’t “potential” match lived reality?

    Receiving answers can feel like finally being handed a missing map.

    Relief often arrives first.

    Then, for many, grief follows close behind.

    Not because diagnosis is tragic, but because understanding can illuminate just how long misunderstanding shaped your life.

    Grief does not always look like sadness

    Sometimes grief sounds like anger.

    You may grieve the support you never received.
     Certain memories may suddenly look different through a new lens.
     Many people mourn years spent believing they were lazy, inconsistent, broken, or simply failing at adulthood.

    Questions often surface:

    “What would my life have looked like if I’d known sooner?”
     “Who might I have been with support?”
     “How much of me was survival?”

    This grief is deeply real.

    Late diagnosis can involve mourning not only missed accommodations, but also the identity built around self-blame.

    Gold stars, masking, and the cost of external worth

    Many late-diagnosed adults built their lives around coping mechanisms that looked successful from the outside.

    Overachievement.
     Perfectionism.
     People-pleasing.
     Hyper-independence.
     Constant productivity.

    These patterns can become armour.

    For some, achievement becomes proof of worth.
     For others, masking becomes so automatic that identity itself can feel blurry.

    Without realising it, many spend years chasing external validation while privately wondering why everything feels so exhausting.

    Then comes the confronting question:

    Who am I without survival mode?

    This can feel destabilising.

    It can also be the beginning of something profoundly freeing.

    Self-trust often needs rebuilding

    When your own needs were overlooked, minimised, or misunderstood for years, reconnecting with yourself can take time.

    Late diagnosis is not simply about receiving information.

    Often, it is about learning to trust your own experience again.

    This may mean:

    • Recognising burnout before collapse
    • Identifying sensory needs
    • Creating accommodations without shame
    • Redefining productivity
    • Questioning internalised deficit narratives
    • Allowing capacity to matter

    For many neurodivergent adults, this process is less about reinvention and more about reunion.

    A return to self.

    Accommodation is not failure, it is wisdom

    There can be profound tenderness in asking:
     “What do I actually need?”

    Perhaps you need more recovery time.
     Maybe structure helps.
     Perhaps flexibility matters more than consistency.
     Some may need fewer commitments, gentler transitions, or sensory support.

    These choices are not evidence of inadequacy.

    They are often acts of self-respect.

    Creating a life that honours your nervous system can feel radical after years spent trying to force yourself into unsustainable systems.

    Yet this shift is often where healing begins.

    “Trying” may not look how the world expects

    One of the deepest wounds many neurodivergent adults carry is the fear that invisible effort does not count.

    There are days when surviving is trying.
     Resting can be trying.
     Saying no may be trying.
     Choosing not to abandon yourself can be trying.

    Effort is not always externally impressive.

    Sometimes, the bravest form of trying is refusing to give up when your capacity looks different than it once did.

    This matters.

    Because self-worth built only on visible output is fragile.

    Self-worth rooted in humanity is far more sustainable.

    Beyond “What if?” lives “What now?”

    Grief deserves space.

    So does possibility.

    While late diagnosis may never erase the ache of earlier misunderstanding, it can create something else:

    Choice.

    Choice to –

    • Understand yourself differently
    • Replace shame with context
    • Build accommodations
    • Honour capacity
    • Choice to stop measuring worth solely by output.

    You are not meeting yourself too late.

    You are meeting yourself now.

    And sometimes, that meeting changes everything.

    Videos

    And my latest YouTube video is a two-part conversation with Chloe Wigan, exploring late diagnosis, invisible effort, self-understanding, and the quiet grief that can come with finally realising life was hard for reasons you may not have understood at the time.

    Chloe’s story offers compassionate insight into masking, self-worth, accommodations, and the journey from self-blame to deeper self-trust.

    You May Be Interested

    Neurodivergent Self-Acceptance: Moving Beyond “Too Much”

    Neurodivergent Self-Acceptance: Moving Beyond “Too Much”

    by | 15, Apr 2026 | ADHD, Anxiety, AuDHD, Autism, Empowerment, Identity, Self-Acceptance

    Neurodivergent Self-Acceptance

    For many adults who are neurodivergent self-acceptance is not something that was built early.

    It is something we learn later.

    Often after years of:

    • Masking
    • Adapting
    • Questioning ourselves
    • Trying to fit systems that never quite fit us

    The shift into self-acceptance can feel unfamiliar.

    And sometimes, uncomfortable.

    Where “Too Much” Begins

    Many adults carry a quiet internal narrative:

    “I am too much.”
    “Too sensitive.”
    “I’m too intense.”
    “Too emotional.”

    These beliefs rarely begin in adulthood. (More about this here.)

    They are shaped through repeated experiences of mismatch.

    Moments where your natural way of being was misunderstood, corrected, or minimised.

    Over time, those external messages become internal ones.

    Rebuilding Self-Acceptance

    Self-acceptance is not about ignoring challenges.

    It is about holding a fuller, more accurate picture of yourself.

    Practical ways to begin include:

    • Noticing your internal language without judgement
    • Reframing differences as variations, not deficits
    • Identifying environments that increase or reduce overwhelm
    • Allowing preferences without needing to justify them
    • Recognising strengths alongside challenges

    This is not a quick shift.

    It is a gradual return to yourself.

    Boundaries as Self-Respect

    One of the clearest expressions of self-acceptance is boundaries.

    Not rigid walls.

    But informed choices.

    You might begin to:

    • Say no without over-explaining
    • Limit environments that drain you
    • Choose depth over obligation in relationships
    • Step back from constant availability
    • Protect your energy as something valuable

    Boundaries are not selfish.

    They are supportive.

    Regulation Before Reflection

    Self-acceptance is much harder when your nervous system is overwhelmed.

    This is where regulation practices matter.

    You might explore:

    • Rhythmic sound to ground the body
    • Quiet sensory spaces to reduce input
    • Gentle movement to discharge energy
    • Breath patterns that extend the exhale
    • Sound or frequency-based practices that support calm

    When the body settles, the mind softens.

    From there, reflection becomes safer.

    Watch the Videos

    Part 1

    Part 2 – drops on 16 April 2026

    When the Rule Book Doesn’t Fit - Gentle Parenting Systems for ND Homes display

    A Broader Invitation

    If this resonated, you are not alone.

    Many neurodivergent adults reach a point where they realise the systems they’ve been trying to follow were never designed for how they think, feel, or process the world.

    Change doesn’t begin with pushing harder.

    It begins with understanding yourself differently.

    That’s why I created When the Rule Book Doesn’t Fit — a gentle starting point for exploring new, more supportive ways of living and working with your brain.

    → Get your free copy here

    If you find yourself wanting deeper, more embodied support with regulation, energy, and reconnection, you might also explore Radiance Reset.

    It’s not about fixing who you are.

    It’s about creating space to come back to yourself.

    You May Be Interested

    If this resonates, you might also explore: